LimericksThere was a young sailor from brightonWho remarked to his girl, ‘you’re a tight one.’She replied, ‘upon my soul,You’re in the wrong hole;There’s plenty of room in the right one.’A lady while dining at creweFound an elephat’s whang in her stew.Said the waiter, ‘don’t shout,And don’t wave it about,Or the others will all want one, too.’There was a young lady of doverWhose passion was such that it drove herTo cry, when you came,‘Oh dear, what a shame!Well, now we shall have to start over.’There was a young plumber of leighWho was plumbing a girl by the seaShe said, ‘stop your plumbing,There’s somebody coming!’Said the plumber, still plumbing, ‘it’s me.’There was a young man from purdueWho was only just learning to screwBut he hadn’t the knackAnd he’d got too far back:In the right church but in the wrong pew.The king named oedipus rexWho started this fuss about sexPut the world to great painsBy the spots and the stainsWhich he made on his mother’s pubex.Said a lecherous fello. Brown withdrawn, Phoebe came presently to bed to me, and what with the answers she drew from me, what with her own method of palpably satisfying herself, she soon discovered that I had been more frighted than hurt; upon which I suppose, being herself seiz'd with sleep, and reserving her lectures and instructions till the next morning, she left me, properly speaking, to my unrest; for, after tossing and turning the greatest part of the night, and tormenting myself with the falsest notions and apprehensions of things, I fell, through mere fatigue, into a kind of delirious doze, out of which I waded late in the morning, in a violent fever: a circumstance which was extremely critical to reprieve me, at least for a time, from the attacks of a wretch infinitely more terrible to me than death itself.The interested care that was taken of me during my illness, in order to restore me to a condition of making good the bawd's engagements, or of enduring further trials, and however such an effect.
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